Selfish

- divya

Dear Lemur with pig trotters,

You do not understand yourself. Behind every big beady brown eye, lies a story you do not narrate. God has given you what you wanted. They must have fallen from the sky, but not like snow- not like marshmallows, not like flocks of doves and not like balloons. They were like bombs, like something you despised most. So they turn out like skunks, when you thought that they clearly resembled swans. A type of swan you might have married someday. You and him? You and him are different because no two animals can ever possess the same brain capacity. You are always wrong in his eyes. But that's okay. Someday, you'll be right in somebody else's eyes. Maybe today had been a bad day. Maybe in the morning, your mother stuffed thorns in your mouth and made you choke on them. Maybe while you were in the car, you turned to adjust your seat belt and without any signal, a piercing dart landed itself right smack in the middle of your fragile little heart. Maybe when you reached school, your lack of competence led you to feel so... out of place, so... out of touch, so... wrong. It is in our nature, to be in the best of moods one day, and to feel as if our ship was sinking, the very next day. Sinking very fast. And once this gentleman had come along, you felt this sudden surge of happiness. But like all the other dart piercing, thorn choking, moments in your life, happiness lasted for only a minute. For you are nothing but a robot. You do not feel. You do not feel anything. Apparently. But if you did not possess the ability to feel, your eyes would not have glistened after he stuffed thorns into your mouth, and pierced darts into your heart. Thorns that made you shut up, and darts that murdered you. The man does not care if you are alright or not. He does not care. Maybe. Games, games. You hate games. You despise games. He jumps to conclusions and decides that maybe, you're not even worth it. Worth. You do not possess worth. So the only question that ponders in your head all day long is not something to do with, "how the hell did my mother stuff thorns into my mouth without me being able to fend her off?" or, "what the hell is this dart doing, sticking out of my chest like that?". But rather, " What is a friend, who readily walks out on you without possibly having any qualms about it, shattering you, and leaving you feeling oh so angry, till you feel like running away from the only best friend you've got?"

Yours truly,
.